religions-of-the-world:

vivinked:

flyfella:

Me: wise sage, give me what I need to banish the darkness from my mind
Pharmacist: here’s your antidepressants.
Me: no curse of mine shall befall you from my dying breath
Pharmacist: thank you

I love how this post implies that the pharmacist is just used to you by now

atlasbellamy:

Millennials watching Gen Z organizing huge rallies and standing up to zero-action politicians 

silverhawk:

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

snapchatting2:

blissarcheopteryx:

snapchatting2:

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were at my house party and all they did was stand in the corner and blink in sync with each other. At one point I saw Mary-Kate put a cigarette to her mouth and take a long drag, then Ashley blew out the smoke.

Wtf kind of fanfiction is this shit

I’m not a fan of anything and I don’t write fiction. Move along.